Zinc - Hey guys, I've got some scripts for the episodes we're going to run.
Ranter - What? Scripts? What the fuck is this?
Thomas - They're the scripts for the new story, since the last one crashed.
Thomas - They're the scripts for the new story, since the last one crashed.
R - What story? What the fuck, we don't read scripts for this shit. Get those papers out of here.
Z - Ranter, Don't you remember the last story? With all the non-canon and the badly formatted chapters that only made it to chapter 3 despite there being 6 chapters or so?
R - No, that didn't happen, shut up. We're not doing a fucking play or a movie or a skit or some shit. If there are cameras following us around, I swear to God I will burrow into the center of this fucking planet and explode.
T - There aren't any cameras, calm down. Jesus Christ.
R - Am I the only one with any logic of originality here at least? First of all, stories about stories being made fucking suck under any context except for awful hallucinations, and even then only sometimes do they not suck completely. Secondly-
Z - It doesn't feel like this is the real problem here.
R - The problem here is that we, as fucking fiction, don't resort to making more fiction as the story. If there's going to be a fucking story about fiction, the fictional characters do not make a fucking script.
(pause)
Z - So are-
R - No, shut the fuck up, give me those papers. (Ranter takes the papers from Zinc, and they burn up in Ranter's hands.)
Z - Jesus Christ, Ranter.
T - You know, I actually agree with him on this one, Zinc.
R - We're not doing a story. We're not doing a story about a story, and we're not doing a story, shut up. I can't believe this is what we were waiting around here for.
T - Hey Zinc, we've gotta get outta here, there's a fight in Charrim City we're missing.
Z - Alright, I've got other things to work on. You guys go ahead.
R - Cool, let's go, Tom. Seeya, Zinc.
Ranter and Thomas run across the desert in a flash, and quickly arrive at the outskirts of a city of tall buildings and crowded streets. They navigate their way through the city and find an opening; a circular arena, surrounded by a crowd of anxious fans. Inside the ring were six men warming up separately.
R - (entering the ring) Hey guys, sorry we're late. I see you didn't start without us.
One of the men in the ring approaches Ranter.
Hercule - You aren't as late as you think, man. Fights aren't picked for another ten minutes.
T - Well, I hardly think we need a warm up. I think I'll just float around until they draw names. (Thomas levitates off the ground and begins floating nonchalantly around the ring)
R - So, Hercule, are you gonna rig the fight order to make sure we fight together?
H - Hell no, these guys aren't worth it. I could take them all at once. Even if I have to wait till the semifinals to fight you or Tom, I can pull my own shit 'till then.
R - Sounds good. You'll still lose though.
H - Fuck off, you maggot.
Announcer - (Over PA system) Welcome, fighters. Please direct your attention to my voice!
R - Jesus Christ, that was ten minutes? We must have been talking in slow-mo or something, fuck.
A - All entrants have been accounted for, and we will begin drawing names to determine the order of the matches.
A set of empty tournament brackets show up on the scoreboard mounted on the wall of a building.
A - The following matches have been chosen at random. For the first match, Ranter Blackfire will be facing Mega Sumo!
R - Seriously? Mega Sumo? What the fuck kind of name is that? Who comes up with this shit?
A - The second match will be Hercule versus Germaine!
R - Why didn't they shout your last name? Or the other guy's last name?
H - "Hercule" is my stage name. I prefer anonymity.
A - The third match will have Thomas Blackfire facing off against the Shorma King!
R - Come to think of it, I don't know what your last name is.
H - and I prefer to keep it that way. I like to keep my enemies at bay.
R - Alright, calm down, shithead. Did they announce the last match yet?
H - Yeah, they did. You weren't listening?
R - I guess not. It isn't really all that important to me, I don't know who the other guys are. There's no sense in filling up my memory with names that don't matter.
A - Fighters, please clear out for the first match. Ranter, Mega Sumo, please take to the ring!
All the fighters but Ranter and Mega Sumo clear the ring. Ranter and a very large, tan man wearing a skin tight suit stand across from each other in the ring.
Mega Sumo - Hahaha! You are my opponent! You are so small!
R - Fuck, it's one of these "big" guys who can't get enough of themselves and their atrocious obesity. Alright, fatass, let's go!
A - Let the match begin!
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